Keeping Independence While Being A Dependent?

Being a novice military wife, I feel like there is a lot I have yet to learn. I feel that sometimes there is this "military wife mold" that I am expected to fit into, and quite frankly, I am not feeling it. The expectations of military wives are weird to me and the stereotypes honestly render me speechless sometimes. I have lost count of how many times I have been asked why I am working and why am I not just spending my time relaxing. Because, ya know, we are not going to be here for very long. And to that I say, "Because I like being independent!"

Of course this point I try to make seems to be coming more and more moot. Independence? As a military spouse? No way! For cryin' out loud my husband is my SPONSOR! I cannot think of a more demeaning word. Every time I walk into the Navy Health Clinic or need to make a call anywhere on base I can almost here the Sara McLachlan song in the back of my head. It makes me feel like I am a charity case and THANK GOODNESS my military husband is willing to sponsor me. I have started to rattle of his social security number instead of mine on the rare occasion someone cares to know mine, career is put on hold (sometimes I feel like it is a distant dream), and just trying to find where I fit in. Sometimes it seems that military life is quicksand and I am slowly sinking. Until I am no longer me, I am part of it.

Don't get me wrong. There are many pluses that come along with this kind of lifestyle. I never thought I would have the opportunity to live in all the different places I do, I am meeting a ton of awesome people, and heck! my husband has a REALLY COOL job! I love being able to support Justin and watch him achieve his dream. I just hate that I feel like I am losing my independence, which I have always been so proud of.

So, my question to my readers. Military spouse or not. How do you keep your sense of independence when starting your career is not an option? Anybody else feel the same way I do?

Paddling Along

It has come to my attention (via myself) that I have only updated this blog ONCE since moving down to Corpus. I really wish I had more to write about, but honestly, I find myself feeling more boring than exciting. My dad and I have come to calling this phenomenon, "Just paddling along." He is more than content with just paddling along, where as I get antsy (it must be a 20-something thing). So, I started thinking back and I realize I have done some things worth noting...

Toured the aircraft carrier, the USS Lexington

Learned to paddleboard

Went to my first airshow in Kingsville

Found out India LOVES chasing jackrabbits

On top of that I have also thrown myself into cooking different things, crafting, and working out (I am IN LOVE with Zumba on Kinect!) I currently work for a property management company and it keeps me busy during the day which is good! I go on weekly walks with my friend from grad school, Shannon, and I have enjoyed getting to meet a lot of great people in Justin's flight! I feel like I am starting to settle down, but of course we have an impending move in about 2 months. Off to Jacksonville we will go for Justin's FINAL stage of training. Then it's off to the real stuff? Whatever lies ahead I am READY!

Of course, being in such a beautiful and new place does not come without the hardships. I hate feeling so disconnected from my friends and family back in Oklahoma. I have to miss out on graduations, special holidays, etc. Like anyone else, I definitely have my fair share of ups and downs. There are good things and bad things about any situation and sometimes I feel like I am disappearing into Justin's life and I don't want to lose sight of who I am as a person. I know how important it is for me to have things that are just MINE. When the bad days do come around, I have to remind myself that God has a great plan for ME and my time will come.

All in all I am really enjoying my time here in south Texas. Justin is not nearly as stressed out as he was during primary in Enid and I love getting to see him live his dream and reach his goals! He works so hard and is so dedicated, he deserves everything he gets! I can't wait to pin those wings on him on July 13!

I guess that about wraps it up for now! I'll try to post more often, but rest assured, Justin, myself, India, and Sir Swimsalot are doing great. As the surfers say...The stoke is high!! :)