The Other Side of an LDR

I feel when it comes to military relationships, all you hear about is the long distance relationship between the couple. Whether it is due to a deployment, or living in separate states due to training/education reasons, I think we can all agree that the Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is the primary focus when people think and talk about military relationships.

But what about the other side of the LDR? The one you don't hear about as often? I'm talking about the long distance relationship between you and friends and family.

This move (my third since I got married less than two years ago) has been different for me. There have been many great and new revelations for me (which I will write about in other posts), but for now the excitement is gone. The newness wears off quicker. And overall I'm more exhausted by it than anything else. The job search, the starting over, meeting new people, making new friends...

Don't get me wrong. I love meeting new people and making new friends. However, I'm also one of those people who likes to keep my friendships. Not cast them away just because distance is a factor. But unfortunately for me, that can be very difficult and I honestly do not think everyone else sees it the same way.

Back in my single days, one of my bigger downfalls was that I did not want to give up on a potential relationship. I would try so hard to make it work, when it clearly was not going to work, and ultimately hurt myself and make a fool of myself in the process. I thought this only applied to potential romantic relationships. However, I've come to find out that this applies to friendships as well.

Any relationship is a two-way street. Whether it is a marriage, friendship, relationship with co-workers, etc. There needs to be balance. There needs to be communication. Both parties need to try. I am all for keeping in touch with my friends and family, but what happens when the said relationship becomes unbalanced? When you feel as if you are the only one who cares and tries in the relationship. Do you try harder? Try less? Ignore it? Give up completely? There is no right or wrong answer, but the conundrum does bother me. And for the record, I don't like giving up.

So what's a girl to do? I let this problem bother me so much it was stressing me out more than it really needed to, in my opinion. My temporary solution is to no longer bother myself with it. If no one else is stressing about it, good grief why should I? It is a weird thing for me to process. Not caring. This is far from a permanent solution, but it's all I've got.

In the meantime, I'll focus on my balanced relationships and put a solid effort into it. Living so far away from everybody else, I've found that cards can do a lot of good. Random texts and yes, even a weekly phone call help me to feel so much closer to those that I love even though the distance is so great. I have been lucky enough to figure out what works for me and other individuals. The others will work it's way out in due course, but I know now that I can't make it.

So, when life gets in the way, what do you do to keep your LDR strong?