Coming in First

I think I am starting to understand myself a little more. I've found that if something is keeping me from falling asleep at night, then I probably need to blog about it.

Do you ever have those days (or weeks) where it just seems that when it rains, it pours? That's how I have been feeling lately. I have been crying a lot. I have been crying so much I am reminiscent of going through a bad breakup or spilling nacho cheese all over the crotch of my white pants (true story). It sucks. I hate knowing that I have spent all day crying and being pathetic. I haven't had a day like that in a long time. I'm not enjoying it.

I have never been the best at anything. There seems to have always been something or someone better than me. I have never been super smart, super athletic, super attractive, whatever. That's fine. I have accomplished many things in my life and am proud of the person I have become. However, when it feels like life is just raining on your parade over and over and over, one has the tendency to loathe the fact that the only thing she's really good at is being nice.

Relationships are what fuel my passion for life. My relationship with my husband, friends, family, colleagues, etc. are what makes me happy. The last few years, I have made it a point to put a lot of effort into becoming the best person (and consequently friend/companion) that I can be. It is important to me that I make my relationships with others a high priority.

And that is where the "when it rains it pours" analogy comes into play. I have come to the realization that  I just don't come first for anybody right now. And that's a painful realization. I get interviewed for jobs, but I'm not the first choice. I have been feeling more like a burden than anything else to my friends and family. And as sweet as it is for Justin to tell me I will always be his first pick, the truth of the matter is I can't be right now. The navy has to come first. The only being that chooses me first is my dog and even then, a good scent would beat me out any day. Right now, there is always something or someone more important than me. All of this has made me feel very empty. I need something to define me and I just don't know what that is anymore.

Some may find this juvenile. Naive. Maybe even dumb? But is it so awful to desire to come first for something? I guess what I want to know is that I am not alone in this. It's terrible to feel that you are not as important to someone as they are to you. Or that I get this job (hypothetically) just because their first pick didn't want it. Have you ever felt this way? If you have, I am completely open to advice or words of wisdom.

Fear

Disclaimer: This will probably be the most intense thing I have ever written. I could be wrong though.


There is something that has been itching at me the last couple of days. I feel like I have talked about this subject on the surface, but never gone in depth. I have been feeling the need to put these feelings into words. Maybe someone has advice? Maybe someone is going through the exact same thing? Maybe somehow I'm encouraging someone else to do what I seem unable to? I don't know these things, but I do know that I want to write about this.

FEAR.

I can remember a conversation I had with my mom once. I have no idea why we were having this conversation or how old I was, it's not important. What I remember her telling me was that I always had this huge fear of failure. It was so bad that if I thought there was even the slightest chance I would fail, I wouldn't even try. In some ways, I feel like I have overcome that.

However, there are other times, like now, where I feel like that frightened and anxiety-stricken third grader all over again. I feel like I have met my goals educationally, I feel like I have met my goals personally, and I am always striving to have higher goals spiritually. But reaching career goals is something I really have yet to attain. Only this time, the military lifestyle and bad economy is no excuse.

I know what my strengths are. I know what my areas for improvement are. I know what makes me happy. I know what I am good at. I am still so glad that I decided to get a masters in counseling. I really do feel that was the right choice for me. The world is my oyster. There are a variety of things that I could do and I should enjoy experimenting with them to see which best suits me. I honestly feel I would be really good at being a counselor and/or working with kids. Whether it be a licensed counselor, school counselor, or even a teacher.

Except, I have this overwhelming fear. Of all of it! I try to live by the saying "Your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear." At the same time, third grader me is still whispering "But you could fail! Like totally suck! How embarrassing! Why even try?!" Just writing this out is almost bringing me to tears. I do have so much potential. How can I expect anyone to give me a chance if I'm not willing to give it to myself?

I'm not asking for answers to questions. I'm not really even asking for encouragement (although I wouldn't turn either of them down). But maybe if I write this down for others to see, that will be a way of holding myself accountable. So, when we do find out where our permanent duty station is, there will be no excuses. I will dive right in (feet first of course, wouldn't want to bonk my head ;)). I will try, I will be resourceful, and I will succeed.

Well, I wrote it. I don't quite believe it yet. Maybe soon.

Peace

Hello, everybody! I know I have been slacking on my blogging. Usually I have no problem getting a hit of inspiration at least once or twice a month for something interesting to write about. I guess you could call it writer's block? But, I digress...

 I have written in a previous post about "paddling on" throughout life sometimes. You know what I mean, nothing good is happening, but nothing bad is happening either. I have been living in Florida for about a month and a half now. It sure seems that time is flying by even though I feel that not a lot is happening. After the move, Justin went to survival training. It was fairly uneventful (for me) and then a week after Justin got back we took a trip with some friends to DisneyWorld.

Jennie, Bo, Justin, and myself at the Magic Kingdom :)

Now that all of the excitement is over, life for Justin and I has been pretty...boring. I hate being bored. It plain sucks. I guess I am still having a hard time adjusting to the 100 MPH lifestyle I lived in college, even though I have been out of college for over a year now. It is really hard for me to sit around, with no job, and no real social life. However, as you, my trusty readers, know, I do not like to use this blog to wallow in my own self pity. What good does that do? So what do I do? That's right! Focus on the positive!

I'll be honest here, I did have a few weeks where I was in tears most of the day. I hate not having a job. I feel like I am letting myself down, I feel like I am letting Justin down, and I overall feel that I need to be doing something meaningful and productive with my life. So, I started praying about it. And y'all, what a great thing prayer is! Although I still have not landed a job yet, I have been given a sense of peace about the whole situation. God has shown me multiple times already that He has this taken care of. He will not let Justin and I go without. I have handed this trouble over to him. I still use every resource that is given to me to help my chances of getting a good job. But, I am not worried about it anymore. I know that I will get a job that is right for me all in His timing.

Really, I have nothing to be upset about. Justin has not classed up yet, so he is at the house all day as well. Instead of focusing all of my energy on worrying about getting a job, I am enjoying the time that we get to spend together. In the military, it is either one extreme or the other it seems. No in-between here, no siree. When Justin does class up, well, let the craziness begin! So, for the time being, I am loving our time together. We get to figure out this town as a team! Life will not always be this way, so the best thing is to look for the good.

I have been wishing lately that I had more things to write about. Maybe my life is really not that interesting, or maybe I am not making an opportunity out of something that seems mundane. Anyway, there are a few purposes to this blog. One, it is a way for me to share me and Justin's life with our friends and family that we moved away from. Two, I want to be able to reach out to others. I want to be an encouragement and a shining light in someone's day. Whether you are military or not, I hope that you are able to get something out of my posts.

So, my question is this. Since I am not struck with inspiration for writing on a day-to-day basis, do you have any ideas? Is there something you want to see me write about? Questions that you want answered? I am open to any opinions and ideas. If you like, you can comment, message me on Facebook, or even Twitter. I would love to broaden my blogging horizons!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week! Hugs from Florida!

Home Alone

AAAAHHHHH!!

 

 

Sorry everyone, I simply couldn't resist! You may not think it's funny, but I had a good laugh. Currently, I am on day 13 of my new life in Florida. Unfortunately, 11 of those have been spent...alone. Justin is currently off in New England somewhere for survival training. I definitely have it better off than he does, but I'm not gonna lie, the last week and a half has been dreadfully boring. I consider myself introverted enough that I can survive on my own without spiraling into a depressive state and sometimes, actually enjoy the time to myself.

I always try to see the positives in any given situation. Otherwise, I doubt I'll make it out of this navy wife life with my sanity intact. So, the positives to this current situation (new location, no husband, no friends, no job) are as follows: I get the bed all to myself, I can cook fish (I love fish, the husband does not), and I get full reign of the remote. Not too bad. And in the grand scheme of things, 14 days is nothing.

Anybody who knows me knows how frugal I am. I hate spending money just out of sheer boredom. I am proud to say that while Justin has been gone, I have not gone shopping (besides for groceries) and I have not had fast food once! Yay me! I have spent the last week and a half unpacking the house, applying for jobs (fingers crossed for me, y'all!), reading, cooking, watching an embarrassingly large amount of TV, and taking pictures of my dog, India. My apologies for jamming your Facebook and Instagram feed with my dog, but she is just so cute!

Justin and India have a love/hate relationship and I was finally able to capture one of their many stare downs. I absolutely love this picture! They crack me up.

I think India could tell I had a higher level of anxiety than normal. She has done a good job acting as guard dog. Even though her favorite pastime is sleeping, I take comfort in knowing she is still on high alert.

Of course the exception to the above statement have been the super loud thunderstorms. Poor thing is not used to such loud noises, so she seeks refuge under the bed during these times.

My India dog has never played with toys. So, I found it weird that she found this stuffed bear in our guest bedroom and kept it in her bed as her snuggle friend for the day. Silly girl!

This one is just precious. She loves her new bed! Ain't she cute?!!

That's enough of the India pictures. Onto a more serious topic. I have never really lived by myself. I always had a roommate in college and right after college I married Justin. I get really panicky at night when it comes to being alone. I have always been this way, ever since I can remember (I am sure my fascination with crime shows don't help). I made sure that we got a house in a safe neighborhood, we are not in the city, and every single lock is always locked. I have pepper spray and keep my car keys by my bed. I still just cannot shake this panicky/anxious feeling I get every night that someone is just bound to break into my house!

Do any of my readers have this issue? Honestly, sometimes I feel my anxiety in these situations borders on abnormal. I know that spending nights alone in inevitable for me. So, does anyone have any tips or opinions on how to help me overcome these seemingly irrational feelings of mine?

Hopefully I have more exciting things to post about soon. But until then, hugs from Florida! :)

Few Friends

Moving day. It is upon me. Justin has been in Jacksonville for almost a week. Now it's my turn. I had been saying that I felt that I was in denial about the whole moving process. Which is not hard since I do not have to do any packing or anything like that. Up until 3 hours ago, my house looked completely the same (with the exception of a missing handsome husband :)) Now that I have taken everything down off the walls, begun my last load of laundry, and have started making a list of belongings that I need to make sure to bring with me, I am starting to get sad.

This move has been harder on me than the previous one from Enid to Corpus Christi. I could not quite figure it out. I mean, Enid is in Oklahoma. All of my family is in Oklahoma as well as all my friends. I had a job that I loved and a little rental house Justin and I could call our own. I was thrilled to be making this move down south and see what else was out there.

A few days ago, I was relaying this thought process to my friend, Jennie, she brought up a good point--- Moving to Corpus Christi was new and exciting for me! I was going to a place I had never been before. I was going to enjoy warm weather, the beach, and all of the fun stuff living by the gulf had to offer. Now, 6 months later, another move is upon me. Except this this time, it is not exactly new and exciting. I have moved away from home, I know what it feels like to live by the beach and enjoy gorgeous weather. The newness of my new lifestyle has worn off and right now I just want some stability. That Jennie, she knows what she is talking about! Which brings me to my next point...

I have been blessed to have two wonderful women enter my life during my time here in Corpus Christi. Jennie and Shannon have been my rocks the last 6 months. Both have such valuable things to offer and contribute to our friendship and I am forever thankful for the both of them.

I joke around a lot, but I truly adore Jennie. This awesome Marine pilot knows how to have a good time, be spontaneous, and doesn't take any crap. She accepted me as the other "staple girl" in our group with open arms. She always has a couch for me to sleep on, is available for nice conversation at a weekly dinner date, and is an all around wonderful friend. She will have an amazing career as a C-130 pilot and I could not be more happy for her.

God truly had something to do with Shannon and I becoming such great friends. How ironic that we both got our masters degrees in counseling (at the same college I might add), both married Navy pilots, and both have ended up down here in Corpus Christi?! I definitely look up to Shannon, and her and Kyle have been great to Justin and I. They are always willing to give advice and Shannon has helped me in more than one stressful situation! I always looked forward to our weekly walks. It was nice to know someone who honest-to-goodness knew exactly what you were going through and is able to help process the situations. Even if all I needed to do was rant, Shannon was there and I hope I was able to extend the same courtesy. I have also thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her daughters better and I will miss them dearly as well.

Although leaving my friends makes me sad. I realize that I can choose to be upset, or see the situation in a more positive light. I have been a navy wife for a little over a year and I have already met so many different and amazing people! I try to not see it as saying "good-bye", but more "see you later". The beauty of the military is that you never know when you could cross paths with the people that you have met again! You just never know! You can tell me the chances of that are slim all you want. For me, I take comfort in knowing that there is always that possibility that I could end up in the same place as they are one of these days.

So, as my days in Corpus Christi turn into hours, I want to say thank you, Jennie and Shannon. What amazing women you both are and I am truly honored to have been blessed with your friendship! I love you both!

Military Moving Moments

Well folks, as you all know Justin and I will be making our way to Jacksonville, Florida soon! He will be leaving on Monday and I will leave 8 days later. I guess we were pretty spoiled on our moves to Enid and Corpus Christi because this move has been TERRIBLE!

Terrible almost does not begin to describe the anxiety and stress this move has caused me. Within the first 2 days of Justin getting orders, I cried, yelled, threw my hands up in the air, and was all around exhausted by the time we got everything figured out (which took a good week or so).

Without boring you with the excruciating details, I thought I might impart some words of wisdom. Whether you are military or not, I hope that this helpful tips can help on YOUR future move!

1. Get it out of your head right now. Everything will not go perfectly. This will save you a lot of grief in the future. Going in with a Plan B can help you not wallow in self pity every time something goes wrong. Go with Plan B, stay flexible, and move on!

2. Stay positive! There's no point in being a Negative Nancy when there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the situation. I was pretty upset about the fact that I have to stay behind a week to wait on the movers to get here. This will be the longest Justin and I have gone without seeing each other since we have been married. Not to mention I have to make this 1,100 mile journey all by myself. However, I realized that I get an extra week to hang out with my friends! So, no complaints here!

3. Don't be scared to ask for help. Offering pizza and beer can go a long way. Plus, most people either have or will be in a situation similar to yours in the near future. So, most people are more than willing to help a friend out.

4. Remember to enjoy the adventure! Even for me, remembering this gets hard some times. I get wrapped up in the moment, start getting sad/mad about moving, and get overwhelmed. However, the big picture is that I am once again going to live in a place I never thought I would! I get to share this with the love of my life and I will make wonderful memories along the way!

These pointers are helpful for me and I hope they help you as well! If Justin and I ever get brave enough to move ourselves, I am sure I will have more "helpful hints". Until then, I will enjoy the movers doing all the heavy work :)

I sure am going to miss this house. And the view!

Wings of Gold

I know that I posted over 100 pictures on my Facebook about Justin's winging day, but I thought it would be nice to really talk about that wonderful, fun-filled, blessed day.

Justin and I had 6 family members from both sides come and enjoy this very special occasion with us. We were sure they would be shown a good time seeing what Justin did on a day-to-day basis during his time here in Corpus Christi. We had a schedule to follow and we would be busy all day. I think I was even shocked at just how genuinely happy Justin and I were.


The day started by pilots and family members gathering in a building near the squadron for breakfast and the soft winging. The soft winging is where the pilots get a new patch on their flight suits that have their wings of gold embroidered. I got teary-eyed just from the soft winging.

Justin getting his soft wings put on. Look how happy he is!

After breakfast, the soft winging, and already a lot of pictures taken, it was off to the flight line to see what this T-44C was all about! Justin's class was also selling a variety of t-shirts, which our family gladly just about bought out. We were able to get into the T-44C and Justin had a great time being our "tour guide" and "expert pilot". I love listening to him talk about the airplanes at times like these because he just sounds so dang smart! We also got the chance to take part in the flight simulator or Sim. The Sim that I got to experience here in Corpus was not as exciting as the Sim I experienced in Enid, but fun, nonetheless!

Me acting like I actually know what I'm doing. I'm so hardcore :)

Me, my naval aviator, and I joked his "second wife", the T-44C

 

After ogling over the T-44C and flying the simulator, we headed on over to the chapel for the blessing of the wings. Justin pinned a set of wings onto the tapestry. I said a prayer and of course, many pictures followed.

Blessing of the wings. I am sure they will stay there for a long time!

What a busy day we had had already! However, we were far from over. Now it was time to head over to the house, scarf down a bit of lunch, and get ready for the ceremony! The ceremony was held at the base Bay Club. There were 10 pilots getting winged that day from VT-31 and VT-35 and I was proud of every single one of them!

There was an invocation, a guest speaker, and all of that good stuff that comes with any graduation. One thing I did not expect though was the Spouse Appreciation part of the ceremony. I knew Justin had bought flowers for me, but I was unaware that there was a whole section of the ceremony dedicated to the spouses of the pilots. I shook hands with all the important higher-ups, held my beautiful bouquet, received my military spouse certificate, and did it all with a huge smile plastered on my face. After 2 years of being behind-the-scenes, it was nice to be publicly acknowledged for the hard work that I put into this too.

Me with my handful of goodies. What a great experience!

Then came what everyone had been waiting for. It was time to get these pilots winged! My husband went from a student naval aviator to a NAVAL AVIATOR! What a cool thing for him to get to say now! I had been looking forward for a long time to pin those wings on him. I was proud that this would be my job and my job alone. Pinning the wings on his held a lot of significance for me. Yes, Justin studied very hard and stayed very dedicated throughout the entire process and he did a great job! But, I feel it was also a team effort. I gladly took up doing most things around the house, I went through flash cards and radio calls with him, kept things positive when he was down. That's really what marriage is all about, anyway. Teamwork. So, looking at each other as I pinned those wings of gold on his uniform is something I will not soon forget.

What a beautiful and happy moment for us both.

My official naval aviator!

After a fun reception, mingling with friends, and dinner with family, it was time for the party! The winging party was held at Doc's which overlooked the bay. It was a beautiful view with a great group of people. I will not say much else besides fun was had by all :)

Such a fun and beautiful ending to a perfect day.

I love looking back on the pictures of this day. Justin and I look so blissfully happy. My dad even made the comment that we looked about as happy as we did on our wedding day! I completely agree. Definitely the second best day of my life. I will not put words into Justin's mouth, but I feel like this was such a validating day for the both of us. All of our hard work and sacrifice has paid off. Justin begins his career as a naval aviator and for the first time, I feel like my role as a navy wife means something. I genuinely look forward to what the years hold for us. I am READY!!

Simplicity

When Justin and I first got married, people would constantly ask, "So, how is married life so far?!" I almost did not know how to answer that. My usual response was something like, "It's great! I love being married, but I feel like we aren't having a 'usual' first year of marriage because of pilot training." Some times, I thought people kind of understood, other times, I feel they just thought I was nuts. I thought I was nuts too, but the last few days proved to me that I was right all along.

Let me explain. Although Justin is PHYSICALLY here while in pilot training, there were many deployment symptoms (for lack of a better word). During primary, I saw him for maybe 30 minutes a day. He would be on base for 12 hours, come home, eat dinner, go to the guest room to study for a few more hours, sleep. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. When we traveled south for advanced, training was less intense, but Justin was still having to throw himself into studying and making sure he did well on all of his flights. I knew the importance of studying, so for the past year, I have been doing a lot on my own.

So, not exactly a dictionary description of a deployment. I was comforted in knowing no matter how busy either of us were that day, he would still be sleeping next to me that night, however, I would try to pick up the slack around the house, make dinner dates with friends, work out, read, whatever! I had to fend for myself because most of the time Justin was either flying or upstairs studying. I am always thankful for the time that he is physically here with me, because I know that a deployment is not too far off. However, now that pilot training is over (for now)...

I FEEL LIKE WE ARE TRULY A MARRIED COUPLE!

Hallelujah! I have told some friends that the transition from living in pilot training world to non-pilot training world can be tough. I feel like our whole lifestyle switches around. But, once we get past the initial, "Oh, you can do the laundry now!" "I'm going to dinner with a friend. What do you mean you will not have anything to do?" it really is great. Justin and I enjoyed a two-and-a-half week vacation in Oklahoma and the last few days we have been just hanging out. No flights to study for. No crazy hours. He is here and we get to just hang out! I never thought I would see the day where I would feel so normal just by being able to cook dinner together, or to spend 3 full days together (with the occasional interruption for paperwork). Although we will be headed to Jacksonville soon and it will be another couple of months of studying, flight planning, etc. I am relishing in this time together to be just Mr. and Mrs. Waldrup. Not Mr. and Mrs. Waldrup and airplane. 

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th! Now, this pilot's wife is going to go snuggle with her TV-watching husband :)

I Have A Dream! At Least, I Think I Should.

Last night I could not sleep. This has become a rare phenomenon since the end of grad school. I thought about just getting up and blogging, but my stubborn self kept my butt in bed until I finally drifted off to sleep about two hours later. I have always been happy and content with my life (especially over the past year, hello! awesome husband alert!), but I could not help but notice that I am missing one crucial part of what I feel makes me ME!

Meaning.

Even as I am typing this I feel stupid. I have so much to be thankful for and so many blessings around me. Why am I so caught up in feeling like I have no meaning right now? I know myself well enough to know what I thrive on: relationships and making a difference. I have plenty of relationships, both here and back home, I just do not feel like I am doing anything worthwhile down here. My dad had told me, "Julia, not everyone gets the opportunity to have a job that is full of meaning. Sometimes people have to work solely to provide for their families." This would be a valid argument if I had a family to support (sorry, Dad. I know you are reading :)) And while I pray to God that my time will come, I cannot help feeling the way I do. I am missing the validation of knowing that I am helping someone, that I am making a difference, and that what I do matters. It makes me want to cry just typing these words out. I honestly had no idea how much I would be affected by no longer being in my element of constantly helping someone or working toward something. I want so badly to know where my education and experience will take me and honestly, I think I am just getting a little antsy. 

I always try to see things in a positive light. I try not to be a Debbie Downer. However, I believe writing this blog is exactly what I needed today. I needed to get my thoughts and feelings out even if they are somewhat depressing. All I can do is keep praying that something good will come along and that I will have the opportunity to be a shining light. 

P.S. I can see how many people view these blogs, but I hardly get any comments at all! Comment away, people! Ya creepers ;)

Keeping Independence While Being A Dependent?

Being a novice military wife, I feel like there is a lot I have yet to learn. I feel that sometimes there is this "military wife mold" that I am expected to fit into, and quite frankly, I am not feeling it. The expectations of military wives are weird to me and the stereotypes honestly render me speechless sometimes. I have lost count of how many times I have been asked why I am working and why am I not just spending my time relaxing. Because, ya know, we are not going to be here for very long. And to that I say, "Because I like being independent!"

Of course this point I try to make seems to be coming more and more moot. Independence? As a military spouse? No way! For cryin' out loud my husband is my SPONSOR! I cannot think of a more demeaning word. Every time I walk into the Navy Health Clinic or need to make a call anywhere on base I can almost here the Sara McLachlan song in the back of my head. It makes me feel like I am a charity case and THANK GOODNESS my military husband is willing to sponsor me. I have started to rattle of his social security number instead of mine on the rare occasion someone cares to know mine, career is put on hold (sometimes I feel like it is a distant dream), and just trying to find where I fit in. Sometimes it seems that military life is quicksand and I am slowly sinking. Until I am no longer me, I am part of it.

Don't get me wrong. There are many pluses that come along with this kind of lifestyle. I never thought I would have the opportunity to live in all the different places I do, I am meeting a ton of awesome people, and heck! my husband has a REALLY COOL job! I love being able to support Justin and watch him achieve his dream. I just hate that I feel like I am losing my independence, which I have always been so proud of.

So, my question to my readers. Military spouse or not. How do you keep your sense of independence when starting your career is not an option? Anybody else feel the same way I do?

Paddling Along

It has come to my attention (via myself) that I have only updated this blog ONCE since moving down to Corpus. I really wish I had more to write about, but honestly, I find myself feeling more boring than exciting. My dad and I have come to calling this phenomenon, "Just paddling along." He is more than content with just paddling along, where as I get antsy (it must be a 20-something thing). So, I started thinking back and I realize I have done some things worth noting...

Toured the aircraft carrier, the USS Lexington

Learned to paddleboard

Went to my first airshow in Kingsville

Found out India LOVES chasing jackrabbits

On top of that I have also thrown myself into cooking different things, crafting, and working out (I am IN LOVE with Zumba on Kinect!) I currently work for a property management company and it keeps me busy during the day which is good! I go on weekly walks with my friend from grad school, Shannon, and I have enjoyed getting to meet a lot of great people in Justin's flight! I feel like I am starting to settle down, but of course we have an impending move in about 2 months. Off to Jacksonville we will go for Justin's FINAL stage of training. Then it's off to the real stuff? Whatever lies ahead I am READY!

Of course, being in such a beautiful and new place does not come without the hardships. I hate feeling so disconnected from my friends and family back in Oklahoma. I have to miss out on graduations, special holidays, etc. Like anyone else, I definitely have my fair share of ups and downs. There are good things and bad things about any situation and sometimes I feel like I am disappearing into Justin's life and I don't want to lose sight of who I am as a person. I know how important it is for me to have things that are just MINE. When the bad days do come around, I have to remind myself that God has a great plan for ME and my time will come.

All in all I am really enjoying my time here in south Texas. Justin is not nearly as stressed out as he was during primary in Enid and I love getting to see him live his dream and reach his goals! He works so hard and is so dedicated, he deserves everything he gets! I can't wait to pin those wings on him on July 13!

I guess that about wraps it up for now! I'll try to post more often, but rest assured, Justin, myself, India, and Sir Swimsalot are doing great. As the surfers say...The stoke is high!! :)

Just the Two of Us!

Hello from south Texas! Justin and I have been here in Corpus Christi for almost 4 weeks now and I am SO late on the first post from our new home! Corpus is definitely a change from what we are used to. First of all, there are people EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME! It just baffles me how many people are around. On a more positive note, it is a beautiful place. The view just from looking out the back porch is amazing. It's sometimes hard to believe that this is where we live now. I think out of all of us, the one who has had the easiest time adjusting is the turtle. India has been strangely clingy and Justin and I are still trying to figure this whole place out. It has been quite the adventure so far!

I remember when Justin and I were engaged, we were trying to decide where he would choose to go for training. He thought Enid would be the best choice for us, while I BEGGED to go to Corpus Christi. Mostly because I did not want my first taste of navy wife life to be sugar coated by having friends and family so close. As you all know, you know who won out on that one. So, as my non-sugar coated navy wife life begins, I often find myself singing the lyrics to that Will Smith song..."Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us...you and I!!" (And yes, it is a Grammy-winning performance I give ;)  ) For the first time, Justin and I are really on our own. I can feel our relationship changing as we have to rely on each other more than ever. I can feel ourselves getting closer and our marriage getting stronger. So, despite the fact of being homesick every once in awhile, I love knowing how much closer I am to my husband.

Every time I had the time to go take pictures, it always seemed the weather was not cooperating. Yesterday, however, was a great day. So, I took India dog on a nice walk down to the beach and the pier and took some pictures! We had a great time although, India is not a beach dog. I think her Oklahoma roots grow deeper than I thought.

India and I walked half a mile down to the Officer's Pier. Here are some of the local pelicans :)

 

The small beach. There were actually waves today! So pretty!

India and I copped a squat to enjoy the view! I love hearing the sound of the waves.

She was NOT in a picture taking mood. But I was going to get one by golly!

Beautiful picture of the NAS Corpus Christi palm trees. This is my view on my runs! Love it!

As you can see, it's a great place! I feel more and more settled each day. Now..who's ready to visit?!

Happy Endings

Oh how times are changing. In a matter of days, Justin and I were thrown into the rush of moving. Scheduling the movers to come, figuring out what we are going to do with the 6 days we have nothing in our house, but can't move yet, I'm updating my resume' and making meetings to hopefully get myself a job down in Corpus. All this mess is stressful, sad, exciting, etc. Friday marked one of first set of goodbyes. It was my last day as a counselor at the Youth Center.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Never have I worked at a place where I like my boss, my coworkers, and the kids all at the SAME TIME! God really blessed me by giving me this job. It's actually hard to express in words how grateful and humbled I feel about this job.

First of all, the overall atmosphere of the Youth Center is an awesome one. I loved having the freedom to work with kids on a one-on-one basis, in groups, and also have a lot of fun along the way!

This picture was taken on Worldwide Day of Play. We had a bunch of games for the kids and the more games they played, the more tickets they got. With their tickets, they could buy prizes or...shove a pie in a counselors face. It was a lot of fun and we were all great sports.

This was for Pink Out Day in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Week. The counselors all joined in on the fun, and we had a great day eating pink food, painting our nails pink, and even spraying our hair pink with the kids!

When I think of this job, the saying "it's quality not quantity" comes to mind. When I started this job, I knew I wouldn't be there more than 6 months and could therefore not get very attached. Boy was I wrong. Having to leave this wonderful group of kids was just as hard on Friday as it was for me leaving my group of kiddos at Cross Timbers in Owasso (hi guys!). I tried to prepare myself for an emotional day and I was blown away by the kindness that was showed to me. First...

My sneaky coworkers had a surprise party for me! I've never had a surprise party before so I was so excited. Also, we at the Youth Center are pretty big on cookie cakes. So my surprise party was full of fruits, veggies, Diet Dr. Pepper (of course) and this delicious cookie cake! It was a great start to the afternoon and I managed to get through it without crying.

On a side note, my dad passed on this little story to me and he had it framed. It's a great reminder to me of how important the little things can be and never get discouraged about helping people, even if it's just a few...

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?"

... The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die."

"Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can't make a difference!"

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said, "I made a difference for that one."

by: Loren Eisley

Now, I think I mentioned this story to my boss once. I talked about how I have my little "starfish" here at the Youth Center and even though I know I can't help them all, maybe I can make a difference for a few. Well, we were all called into the gym because everyone had something to give me...

Everyone at the Youth Center (coworkers and kids) had made their own little starfish and put made this pretty beach background. They made it to show and remind me that I have made a difference in ALL of their lives. Let's just say, my eyes were not dry when I saw this. I was unbelievably touched and I don't think they know how much this means to me. I will definitely keep in forever.


Not only did I make a difference in their lives, but they made a difference in my life as well. For 5 months I was surrounded by military kids and wives. Hearing the kids stories and seeing their positive attitude made my job such a humbling experience. The way I see it, if they can do it, then certainly I can do it!


I've worked with kids for over 8 years now and it's never easy saying goodbye. However, even as I was driving home that night, belongings cluttering my car, tears rolling down my face, I have a sense of peace because I know that I am still doing what I'm meant to do and my heart is in the right place.


So, thank you to everyone at the Youth Center for giving me an experience I will never forget! My next job will definitely have a hard time topping this one!


P.S. Megan...you're THE BEST ;)

Track Select!

Although Justin's track select was 2 weeks ago (see previous blog post), all of the Air Force dudes of class 12-12 had their track select yesterday. Although the Air Force guys don't move anywhere different after track select, it's still a big deal. Therefore, they make a whole day out of it! And it was a blast! First, the class had a breakfast for them, IPs, family, and spouses. Next, we got to go on tours of the flight line AND THEN I got to fly one of the simulators!

T-6 up close and personal! I thought this was so cool because they don't allow unauthorized people on the flight line. This is what Justin has been flying the last 5 months.

Then we got to go on the catwalk on the base tower. It was quite a climb! Just an incredible view though! T-6 nation! Planes constantly taking off and landing. Pretty neat!!

This is the closest I'll ever get to flying in a T-6 ;)

My favorite part! I got to fly a legit pilot training flight simulator! And I did a pretty good job too! 

What a fun day it was! Not everyone gets the opportunity to do and see the things I did. But, I guess it's just another....day in the life of a navy wife :)

New Year...New Location

I know that I hoped for a calmer year than the previous. However, I also knew that a move was upon us. Military life is always there to keep you guessing. A remember a few months ago when Justin and I were on our Friday night dinner date, he said that he was almost 100% positive of where our move would take us. I immediately told him to keep his mouth shut and to not tell anybody where he thought we were going because if I knew the navy, we would end up going somewhere completely different...

In December, Justin became T-6 complete. Hallelujah!! I thought we would know within days where our next destination would be. Alas, the navy decided that there would be no more track selects for the 2011 year. We would have to wait until the beginning of January...

In the meantime, we enjoyed time with family and friends, I kept up my work at the Youth Center, and Justin enjoyed a few weeks of well-deserved off time. We watched movies, played on our XBox and Kinect, and I figured out how to work my Nook. As relaxing as it was, I still yearned to know where we would be next...

Finally! 2012 was upon us! We rung in the new year in style...

Now there was only a couple more days to wait. Oh, the anticipation is killing me! Is it killing you as your reading this post?

Now, the day is upon us. I've had butterflies in my stomach all morning. Hoping and praying that Justin got what he wanted. You just never know. Then, at 11:12 AM, I got the call....

"Baby. We're headed to Corpus Christi. I selected P-3."

Oh, joy! My eyes got all misty. I'm just so excited and happy that Justin got what he wanted and believe it or not, we are headed EXACTLY where he thought. Justin starts training quick, so we will be headed out of Enid in a few weeks. Lots to do, but I'm excited for the adventure that lies ahead! Although a bittersweet time, I hate change. I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to the kids and my coworkers at the Youth Center, I cringe at the thought of not having friends or family within a 1 or 2 hour drive. However, I'm excited to see what lies ahead for me and for Justin in Corpus Christi. I get to live by a beach for the first time ever AND my Nana and Doman are currently in South Padre Island, which is just a few hours away from Corpus. So, I'M READY!!

I want to thank everyone who has supported us so far. You all are the best! Now, I want to know how many of you skipped to the end to find out where we were going ;)